Jun 05
2008An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office
Filed Under (Fun) by Sheern Tami on 05-06-2008
Tagged Under : Bin Laden, Funny Letters, Humor, Jokes, Letter to Canadian Passport office, Orignal Fun Stories, True Jokes
Dear Mr. Minister,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin’ there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for …… sake. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another ‘ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the ….. place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (morons)
Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate f……g Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!!
lol, goto the passport office with a mirror, when they ask to verify who you are, just hold the mirror up to yourself and say “yep, that’s me!”
Right on.
One of the best letters to the government I’ve ever read. I am still laughing my ass off at this part:
“You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on?”
Awesome. - J
Niiiiiice!
hahah. A good and typical example, of the lousy work, that goes on, behind the walls of the paper-mill.
Thannks for the laugh.
Great letter! If they respond, you gotta post it.
This letter speaks the truth, thank you for this.
Because once they start having all that info in 1 place it might become dangerous? Oh yeah it’s annoying to redo all your forms and such… but how much more of a pain would it have been to get it stolen or worse be declared dead by accident because 1 clerk checked in the wrong box?
Someone call the waambulance.
The solution is, of course, to kill all kikes and purge the world of all forms of jewry.
Sounds more the ranting of a redneck.
The ministry asks to check if you know.
Not knowing means you are not whom you claim to be.
It’s only funny in a Foxworthy kinda way.
Absolutely hilarious and true!! THis year after filing my taxes the governement sent me letter as I had declared my girlfriend my common law. They asked me what the value of my income was 3 years ago and hers. WHY??? You can’t freaking look it up on the computer yourself??? I will never understand why they ask us the same damn questions over and over.
Sounds like The Bitter Pill Society has a member in Canada! lol
Sounds like The Bitter Pill Society has a member in Canada!
They ask for your address because some people have mailing addresses that are different from the address at which they reside. The reason they ask the same questions over and over is so they can verify you are who you say you are. Imagine if someone could get a passport with your name just by giving your phone number like at Radio Shack. You had to go out of your way for a copy of your Birth Certificate due to your city’s planning and developement, the Minister has nothing to do with it; In my city all services as such are located in one building. The farm question is for the prevention of spreading diseases, and you are not funny.
this has that conservative chain-letter email vibe to it.
You’d think that after ‘over 30 years in the military’ you’d have learnt how to address someone else decently, politely about whatever perceived grievance you’ve got. Pathetic.
Figpetus, you absolutely nailed it with that one; thank you for sparing me the trouble of having to write it out myself.
As another poster mentioned, this definitely has a chain mail vibe to it. Who, honestly, finds this kind of low-brow drivel amusing? Oh well, let the yokels have their guffaws, I suppose.
some of it was funny. The rest was just complaining.
poor guy, had to fill in a document.
Man, I freaking hate cops.
They are the worst, most self-centered egotistical jackasses the world has to offer. I would go out of my way to make your life difficult, old man.
Makes me wonder if he had some clue about the 52 Division kerfuffle over Toronto’s introduction of the Denver Boot. Peace, order, good government: two out of three ain’t bad.
Privacy laws dictate that some departments can’t share information with other ones. Passport Canada cannot see your driver license file nor your health canada file.
This letter is a translation (a good one at that). I have read the french original. Makes somewhat more sense coming from a french canadian…
Have they replied? lol
While stuff like this is completely frustrating, it is this weakness that gives people like me the anonymity I need to do what I have to do. The opportunities are endless when you stop bothering about how fucked the system is… and you exploit it.
sam taught me… she started in California. Now she barely even exists. I remember the first time I heard her voice crackle over the radio “bacon” oh… felt so alive…
It’s funny how the simplest things seem to go completely missed by governments all over the world. As a Canadian living in Japan, I can completely understand the frustration. Just try renewing a passport while in another country and working at a job that can’t give you 2 hours off to head down to the local consulate to have the ambassador to the country verify the fact you’re actually in the country.
Fun? Wow.
He/she can forget about traveling ANYWHERE with a new passport.
I think it would be safe to say that the morons who don’t think this post is funny, have a rather large stick up ther ass’s!! Please people, go out right away and get a sense of humor!
My roommate gave me this link since I am a Pre-Examiner at Passport Canada. I might be promoted to Passport Agent soon.
I actually liked this letter. It’s far from the real facts and procedures, but still, it was entertaining.
Yes, my job is to reject or approuve passport application forms.
Most people just:
- Don’t read instructions
- Fill it all wrong
- Don’t send what is required
- Illegible copies
- Uncertified copies
- Copies when we asked for Originals
- Originals when we asked for Copies
- Filled their forms over a year ago
- Send from bad to extremely bad photos (part of the blame to some photo studios)
- Don’t even bother sending a payment
- Don’t even sign the damn thing
..and then have the balls to complain about it. Stop whining and pay attention to what you’re doing when filling it. lol
I may be a bit exaggerating; about half the applicants fill their form properly.
Oh and there’s a reason why you can’t smile y’know…
- Eagger
To John Milton (#10):
You antisemitic fuck! Go fuck your mother and have your sister lick your balls meanwhile! Dipshit…
Where the hell does this kike-thing come here, you #10 and #31 jerks???
It’s about Canada govt and not a particular race/religion.
Well, well, well, it is nice to know that the USA does not hold the only title for red tape in government proceedings. BE patient, the bondoogle does end, eventually. Hopefully by then you are able to take your trip and won’t be wearing cobwebs.:) P.S. did you notice, no cussing. this is to some of the other writers, not the gentleman who is frustrated.
Why don’t you get REAL!!!!! You really have a problem, don’t you?! Want to trade places with some of the earthquake victims in China, or the tornado victims in the midwest that have lost EVERYTHING—–loved family members, houses and everything they owned!!! Or maybe some of the flooding victims here in the midwest???
Why don’t you give up on your pity party and find someone that you can be of assistance to !!! I DO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH YOUR PASSPORT. BUT— BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO RELATE TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU NEED AN ATTIUDE AJUSTMENT VERY BADLY!!!!
Again, to all the morons leaving over-thought messages, this is supposed to be funny. It’s not a debate. So get your pink, frilly panties out of a not and have a fucking laugh!! God you people fuking suck!!
Hahahahah….ah how subtlety is often lost on people. While I must admit there is a certain slightly rednecky charm to the letter in question, I really wouldn’t say the writer was ignorant. I think it’s more likely he was just being facetious. He certainly doesn’t seem stupid and his points would probably resonate with many Canadians.
Sincerely,
A Canucklehead.
The less the gov’t knows about you, the better off you’ll be.
This is a funny letter. Frustration is frustration. I don’t get the irate comments though. Some people are out to attack anybody they can without cause. It isn’t that important. It’s just a funny rant. Live and let live. And don’t forget to laugh.
hahaha. “what the hell does rant mean?”-family guy
Photoshopped. The pixels just don’t match and it stands out loads in the shadows.
PHOTOSHOPED ?!?!?
wtf
why does everyone say things r photoshoped o.O
very very random comment xD
live life with love
I had a good laugh at this one, whether it is legitimate or not.
I do not knöw that this mail is a real one or not,but it was really funny
Yet, there are people that want the government to control everything from health care, to insurance, to oil, to your toilet, to your choice in light-bulbs, etc….
Very sad…
Let me educate you. The government doesn’t have to make a profit, doesn’t have to justify its actions. You have to go through this living hell simply because people would be out of their cushy and comfortable bureaucratic jobs if things were made practical and efficient. It doesn’t matter the government. Want an efficient government? Make it smaller and stop expecting it to take care of you and every other loser in its borders. Let government keep the peace, protect you from invasion, and keep basic law and order. Leave the rest to the citizens and the market. Government should be a referee in society, not a provider. History shows that anything done by committee (with that committee made up of failures or miscreants in the outside world) is always doomed to failure.
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