MillionFace

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but  we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live  forever”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA  contest. (On  September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss  America 1995.)

“Whenever  I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I  can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not  with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey

“Smoking  kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very
important part of your  life,”
–Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal  anti-smoking campaign

“I’ve  never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
–Winston Bennett, University  of Kentucky  basketball forward.

“Outside  of the killings, Washington  has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
–Mayor Marion Barry,  Washington,  DC.

“That  lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m  just the one to do it,”
–A  congressional candidate in Texas.

“Half  this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Philadelphia  Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“It  isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in  our air and water that are doing it.”
–Al Gore,  Vice President

“I  love California.  I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
–Dan Quayle

“We’ve  got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?”
–Lee Iacocca

“The  word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like  Norman  Einstein.” 
–Joe Theisman,  NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

“We  don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of  people.”
–Colonel Gerald Wellman,  ROTC  Instrutor.

“Traditionally,  most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery

“Your  food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville,  South  Carolina

“If  somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they  go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.  And  the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a  record.”
–Mark S. Fowler,  FCC Chairman

Any guesses how the dog managed to break the pot !?

Now this sounds crazy and insane

A 35-year-old Texas woman has been jailed after police say she made her 12-year-old daughter drive her to a bar. Police in Longview say they watched a minivan turn into a driveway without signaling on Wednesday and bump into a home at a low speed.

Police say the girl told an officer she had just dropped her mother off at a bar. They say they found Jennifer Lynn Rosenberg at the bar and that she admitted having her daughter drive her there.

Next we are going to hear 10 year old drives his dad to a freaking strip club. Way to go teens

Phase 1

You are listening to Stevie Wonder
(Your first day at work and all is fine and great)

Phase 2

You are listening to HOUSE music
(After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you coming or going anymore)

Read the rest of this entry »

Read the rest of this entry »

Read the rest of this entry »

Isn’t this guy too much intelligent for this world, by washing his car in the rain!

Read the rest of this entry »

Make Sure You Read “New Company Policies” At The Bottom

Read the rest of this entry »

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”

The husband laughs says: “An Italian girl !!!” & winks. The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Very good, thank you.” “And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?” She asked.

“The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!”

“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!”

Moral of the Story: Briefs should be explicit.