Why bully another child
Is this a familiar experience to you, as a parent? -
Your child starts behaving strange when he or she sees another familiar child. Either your child gets intimidated or offensive. Welcome to the world of bullying among children.
It is not new; has been going on since we can think of. Once child bullies another and he in turn does the same thing to another and so on. So, the question is: who bullies whom?
“Pamela was taking her son, Turf, to the school. The moment Turf saw another bulkier boy, he shrinked a little bit and then started to roar loudly with bare teeth and claw-like hands”. Pamela was surprised at this. After discussing this with Turf’s teacher, Pam came to know that the other boy would bully Turf; and in order to defend himself, Turf was instructed by the teacher to act the way he did.
Teachers also are not clear at times about the resolution to the problem. They don’t want a bull-fight in the premise but at the same time don’t want a child to be supressed by another. Parents wonder all the time about the well-being of their child in the school or any common children-group place.
Another subtle remedy: “You tell this boy to stop. Tell him firmly and clearly. Then, if he hits you again, you hit him back once in the tummy, then walk away.” The important point is: being firm, fearless and assertive; but isn’t it too much to ask from a 5 year or 6 year or rather 10 year old child?
The bullying is also taking another form: ‘digital bullying’. Create a fake profile on MySpace or any other social site and start offending others. A child doesn’t even need a physical strength for this!
The problem is disturbingly widespread; and, obviously, the remedy depends on the specifics of the case, including the age of the bully and the victim. We realise that some kids of tender age, and especially boys, go through a hitting, kicking, pushing, biting or hair-pulling phase - do it or face it.
Some 20 years back, the whole bullying thing was to try to understand that the bully was masking massive self-esteem issues and/or traumatised at home; but that’s not the case now. Kids want to show off their superiority and authority.
In small children, like toddlers, pushing, hitting and snatching is common and they do it without realising that it’s bad. In fact, they may take it as a healthy form of interaction and love. This becomes serious when it continues even after the child is 7 or 8 or 10+ years old. They will need immediate attention: whether the child is bulling or is a victim. Some kids just get used to being victims, and their need for help should not be undermined.
It has always and will be a point of discussion about dealing with bullying. While we would want a child to stop bullying another, but would want the victim to avoid hitting the bullying kid; but at the same time sometimes it takes a reactionary act to stop a brat.
Even adults don’t shy away from bulling. It’s in the human nature to try to behave superior to another. Bullying is one way to show that. So, how much are kids to be blamed for this wild behavior?!
… open for discussion …
Latest posts by Ariel Lezak
- Panda baby growing stages [cute pics] - April 10th, 2009
- Children do understand violence [video] - March 21st, 2009
- Luxury suites in the Jumbo plane - January 19th, 2009
- Perspective views - January 11th, 2009
- The good things about 2009 - January 3rd, 2009
- Rupert Murdoch all crazy about 3rd wife Wendi - December 13th, 2008
- Winter In St.Petersburg - December 4th, 2008
- The Fed’s new role: Sugar daddy - November 28th, 2008
- Capturing the Millisecond - November 21st, 2008
- Stairway To Penthouse - November 15th, 2008